As I entered my 29th year, I couldn’t help but reflect on the past decade with one year left. Here are my thoughts and takeaways from my 20’s.
I’ve never been a big birthday celebrator, but this year I was more aware as the day approached. I had a realization that next year the 10’s digit would be changing which seems significant.
Twenties is the first decade that feels complete. I can reflect on the 20’s in a way unlike the first two decades. The first years, well, you don’t remember part of them, and everything is new. The 10’s / teens are so widely varied, feel immature, and don’t feel connected. Yet, 20-30, like the roaring 20’s, feels like a time that will be remembered.
What I’ve Learned: Takeaways from my 20’s
On to the takeaways from the 20’s. I think at 20, I would have appreciated these four tips: Learn, Step Off the Path, Commit, and Prepare.
Learn
While many 20-year-olds are in formal schooling of some sort, this is not what I mean with the first tip of “Learn”. Learning is for everyone.
In college, I joined a fraternity of men that was different from the stereotypes that I had about Greek organizations. While not without flaws, it was a group of men attempting to live by core values: Mutual Assistance, Intellectual Growth, Trust, Responsible Conduct, and Integrity. The fraternity discusses Intellectual Growth as men “devoted to continually cultivating their minds“. This has stuck with me throughout the decade.
Continual cultivation of my mind is always being willing to understand something further, and to never think that I know everything about anything. There is always new light to be shed, a new angle to look from, or a new way to phrase it.
Regardless of formal education, learn always in your 20’s and onward.
Step Off the Path
A part of learning is experience. Step off the path. Do something different that isn’t following the rubric that everyone else follows.
In early development, grade school, and high school, the road is pretty well paved for many of us. You crawl, you walk, you run. Go to school, get your grades, graduate. Learn to drive, get a license, and so on. This is a good runway to take off from. Why reinvent it?
Your 20’s an onward are a little different. The plan becomes less and less written until the book opens up to a blank page.
If you are still figuring out what you want to do, this can be intimidating. Time is still ticking so you have to step somewhere. But where?
If you have a life plan or career already in mind, it may be tempting to just keep running on the path that others are running around you – to go with the flow.
In either situation, I think you should pause and pray. What are you being called to? Service, adventure, or some kind of different experience to expand your worldview and keep learning? You could be called to keep going on your path. But maybe not.
A Note on Timing
Leaving college is a unique time where you likely have a lot of energy, but not a lot of strings attached. If you are going to do something “out there” now would probably be an easier time than after you have a family who needs you or you are exhausted.
For me, despite being an engineer, I felt called to be a missionary for two years in my 20’s. I had met missionaries who had changed my life for the better. If I was ever going to do what they did, this was the time, and the experience was incredible.
A period of time away from your career path might appear like a waste; however, if this experience is meaningful, it can actually set you apart. I have known people to do Peace Corp, Missionaries, or even those who backpacked Europe for a time. All of them have found ways to incorporate what they’ve learned onto their resume in a way that has served their current career.
Commit
The biggest event of my 20’s was my wedding. More precisely, the biggest event was the commitment to my wife and the Sacrament of Marriage.
Dr. Jordan Peterson sums it up in his advice for 20 year old men:
“You’re not going to find something more valuable in your life than a committed relationship with someone that you love that sustains itself across time, and then in all likelihood produces children. That’s life.”
Dr. Jordan Peterson – Watch his full answer in this video
While commitment is essential to relationships, it goes beyond that.
I mentioned before that time is going, and you have to take the next step somewhere. Many times doing something is better than doing nothing. You can get stuck in “analysis paralysis” if you stand at the fork in the road an look down each path. Take a step down one. Commit. Often, God will make it very clear if you should keep going or turn back and take the other path.
Prepare
“Be Prepared” is the Scout Motto.
This last takeaway from my 20’s is actually stolen from my youth. I was a scout before my 20’s, but those formative times set me up for life ahead.
Preparedness looks a little different depending on your stage in life. At 20, I was trying to be prepared for my next quiz, exam, or internship that would lead to a better job someday. Today, I have to be prepared financially for unexpected ER bills, kids, or retirement.
With One Year Left
Imagining myself when I am older saying “Back in my 20’s I…” what do I want to follow those words? Have I done it, or is there anything more I can squeeze in to make the most of this last year of the decade.
Don’t get me wrong, I think my 30’s will be some of the best years of my life. In faith, family, and career, I will be going in more established and with some tools that will give 30 many advantages over 20. However, what I do this year will prepare me to hit 30 running!
At any age, I would imagine that you can share in this reflection. What can you do this year, to make the next year ahead even better? Even better, what can you do now to make Eternity better?!
Putting It Together: Learn to Prepare
Putting together all of the takeaways from my 20’s looks like this:
Learn from experiences to know better how to prepare. Plan to step off the path every now and then, and how to get back on it if needed. Next, prepare for commitment. Lastly, prepare to keep preparing until we prepare for Heaven.